Darice Rene 0:00
When I was thinking about what to name the podcast, it took me quite a while. It did so for a couple reasons. Number one, when I initially had this idea to create this space, it was years ago, three years ago. And I came at it from a completely different point of view. I thought it would be a podcast that supported my business at the time, a marketing agency. And I planned to use content that was coming through the agency like blog posts, customer testimonials, things like that. God had a different plan. And here we are today with effortless and UNbothered. But in choosing the name, I struggled, certainly, because the shift was more towards a space to share my voice with women who were like me; like minded. And who were in similar seasons that I was in. So I initially thought about doing something in the title that drew from my values, which is something that's driving me really, really heavily in this time. And my values, which I've talked about in other podcast episodes are alignment, impact, growth and power. So I thought about AIGP, but then, you know, from a marketing perspective, that would not make sense, no one would know what to look for, and so on and so forth. So I moved into a room where I came up with effortless and UNbothered.
And as I really started digging into that, what I realized is that that name, that title was more than just, you know, something that would be relevant for the podcast, it really helped me understand and define what I wanted, for my community; for this community of women, you know, the women that appeal to me, and that I appeal to who are fully focused, driven, successful, highly ambitious women, they are caregivers, caretakers, they are pushing limits. And they've done so in a framework that society has typically laid out for them. So they come to a space and time in their lives where they feel out of alignment. And in doing that, you know, women in this community are being drawn to these trendy topics like self love and self care. And I thought, you know what, I want us to go beyond those concepts, those concepts will be replaced. Effortless for me, was an area that would be easy to understand and easy to want to subscribe to. An effortless life would appeal because we've we've been living the opposite of that. UNbothered, though, was something different. UNbothered was something that really had its own meaning. And when you look at the title of the podcast, whenever you see it in writing, I always capitalize the u, n, in UNbothered. And that's for a reason.
You know, I feel like so many talented, capable women are being handicapped by the commitments and their lives, are ones that they're always eager to escape. And I want us to come against that. I want us to live lives of effortless and UNbothered measures that are intentional. So this episode, The Art of being UNbothered really is meant to unpack that, so that as you journey with me in this community, you understand exactly where we're going. So I believe it's time for us to accept ourselves with no apologies. I think being UNbothered is saying no without guilt, establishing boundaries, it's being you authentically. It is also bucking the worldviews, the societal views, the traditions and these unspoken norms that really don't suit us. I believe it is about being in control. I believe it's about confidence. It's about peace, and it's about happiness. So when I started looking up words that would bring all of this home. One of the words that jumped out at me in my time of reflection was nonconformist. Such a great word.
So, the definition of a nonconformist is a person whose behavior or views do not conform to prevailing ideas or practices. And here's why it's important to grasp this concept and to start moving towards a life of being UNbothered in, it's because of anxiety. So I was doing a little research, anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the US, it's affecting 40 million adults in United States age 18 and older. And it's about 18% of the population every single year. And I am willing to bet that you have had some kind of connection to anxiety, probably in the last week. What's interesting about the community that I am a part of, and that you probably are a part of, if you're listening to this podcast is that our anxiety becomes a part of our lifestyle. It's not necessarily diagnosed. And that's okay, you know who you are. And I am one of you as well. So I want to take that and dig into that just slightly, I'm gonna have some resources in the show notes for you to look into even more information about anxiety as this mental disorder so that you can reflect on that on your time. But I want to just trust me and acknowledge that there is some disorder, or some dysfunction in how you've been attacking your life, your your responsibilities, your roles. All right. So if we just kind of agree, on that point, I want to ask you to start thinking about how it got that way, like how we became so mired in this in this race that we're in.
I was in a in a virtual summit early on this year in January. And it was phenomenal time. It was a three day summit over the weekend, it was all virtual. And the idea of the summit, or behind the summit was all about joy and wellness. It even called itself a joy summit. And the organizer had brought in speakers that covered health topicsm wellness mindset. And I have a whole notebook full of notes, because I was glad to attend, I had never heard of most of the speakers in that three day summit. And I've since followed most of them, I'll also include some of the ones I followed, that might bless you as well. But we're at the end of the summit, we're on a Sunday afternoon. And the event organizer opens up the chat, so to speak, for people to give some feedback about how they've transformed or or what their takeaways would be from that summit. Now, I'm halfway listening at this point. It's been three days. And so I'm thinking about my next week, I'm, you know, cleaning the house a little bit as as this broadcast is going on. And I hear this voice in this woman who starts talking about what the summit has done for her. And she talks about how she's been just really high, strung, she's just been feeling stuck. And she has this young daughter who's kind of watching her and reflecting some of the behaviors that she's seeing in herself. And so she was kind of troubled by it. She said that she has signed up for the summit because she really, really was looking for answers and how to get unstuck. And there was something about her voice that made me just really stop and pay attention. You know, there was there was this sense of hopelessness underneath her voice. And she went on to talk about some of the things that she was experiencing in this space. And finally, she finished with "I just need to know how to live." And when she said it, there was just this pause, and immediately the chat, it just blew up. And you have sisters, you know, oh my god, I'm praying for you. I understand Sis, it's going to be okay. And like all of this encouragement came through. And the spirit in that summit was just so strong around support and community and love and transformation. And I remember I immediately began to pray because this is what I do when I'm feeling like there's something there's something I should do or say and I don't know exactly what it is. And so finally, I wrote down some things that I would say to her if she was sitting in my my living room, and I'm gonna share some of those things with you today.
The goal in all of this is to understand when it comes to the art of being UNbothered, there is no one size fits all. I believe that you have to figure out what brings you joy, what brings you peace. I also believe that this is a time for you to understand what your values are, so that you understand that you're in alignment, or you find out where you're not in alignment. I think the art part of the art of being UNbothered really is about your individual expression and how you create your state of UNbothered. That's the freedom of this idea. That's the freedom of this community. So what I would say to someone who felt like they were stuck, or someone who didn't understand how to get into a season where they could let go of all of these societal norms and traditions that they subscribe to is this. I will say, number one, forgive yourself. There is something about us women who are driven and and caretakers, and all of us who are simply just racing against some kind of internal clock, or they've told themselves some kind of story that is working against them. And that if they're not meeting a goal, or reaching a certain status in their life, for keeping up with folks on the Gram, that they're inadequate, so I'm going to ask you first to forgive yourself for any of those feelings, for any missteps, for any mishaps for, you know, relationships that didn't work out; for walking away from positions that didn't work for you; forgive yourself, that's number one. Number two, release that guilt doesn't serve you. And it absolutely can hold you back from moving forward. So let that go. Third, accept the reality. If you are not where you thought you should be, then examine that should first of all, and regardless, except you are where you are, so that you can endeavor to move forward, whatever that looks like, whatever you decide that is. The fourth thing, find your power. I think somewhere along the lines, I know this habit in my life in terms of taking care of others succeeding at work, being great at church, working in ministry, all of those things.
Somewhere, I forgot who I was, and I started to become the roles that I had taken on. So much so that when something went left or right, it affected me too much. And I have talked about that in previous podcast episodes. Check out, stop the crazy or living the best life with JIhada. There's plenty of times where I've shared my story. But finding your power, understanding who you are, know what you bring to the table, what you bring to the world is impactful at a time like this. Next, align with the people places and the things that will serve you in this new season. This is a new day, this is not yesterday. So whatever happened yesterday, is actually irrelevant. Think about that. It's a new day, you get to make new choices. So it's a great day for you to align yourself to get yourself in a better position. Next, be kind to yourself as you make this transition. I recognize and realize that when I am ready and I've realized that it's time to make a pivot, that the pivot doesn't happen overnight. It's a process. And I think it's important to acknowledge that it's a process. And that's okay, because there is so much to gain from going through this process, this this period of enlightenment, I'll go ahead and call it. Lastly, regret nothing. Everything that has transpired up to this point was useful and it was necessary for you to get here. So no sense thinking about the what ifs, the should haves and the anything else that does not serve what's next. So it is what it is, as we say so often.
So that's how I want to sum up my idea around this art of being UNbothered, in this concept of being unbothered. And I want to hear from you. I want you to listen to this podcast, I want you to challenge yourself in terms of what is not serving you well, in this period. What is holding you back, if anything, and what you can do to improve today that will line up with who you really are. And if you're great, I'm great. Think about how there could be somebody in your life that could hear this and needs this and please share. I hope to hear from you. You can find these show notes on effortless and unbothered calm as you know, I'm all over the internet at Darice Rene, so let me know what you think. And let's stay connected.
For more information about anxiety, visit: https://adaa.org/about-adaa/press-room/facts-statistics