How do you get unstuck? There are times when you know that something is "off" with you and that you're the only one that can address it. Whether it's a career, a relationship or its lifestyle related, there are 4 things to consider. In today's episode I'm diving into changes you initiate to build a better life that aligns with who you are.
How do you get unstuck? There are times when you know that something is "off" with you and that you're the only one that can address it. Whether it's a career, a relationship or its lifestyle related, there are 4 things to consider. In today's episode I'm diving into changes you initiate to build a better life that aligns with who you are.
Oh my gosh adulting! I have navigated some major life changes many times and had no guide. I was in it before I knew how to get through it. So there was so much fall out that I could have avoided had I had better resources; had I've been better equipped. So this topic is near and dear to my heart. What I'm hoping that you will get out of this is some help in how to navigate radical life changes. So when I say radical life changes, what I'm actually talking about is major life changes. And when you think about what those are, major life changes are things that are controllable, and some are not controllable. They are things like separation, marriage, divorce, deaths in the family, imprisonment, injury, illness, job loss, retirement, they span a lot of areas. It spans familiar areas, financial, health related topics, they are the social aspects of living life. And we could go on and on and on. What I would like to do for the conversation we're going to have today is just to focus on the changes that you initiate when you are on your path to build a better life. Because those are things that although none of this is light, right, all of this is heavy, is even heavier. Based on some factors, like what's been going on in your family's history, I just want to spend a couple minutes today, thinking about the impact of the changes that you are going to initiate, the ones that you have initiated, because you're on your way to building a better life. So the term that this took when I started researching this topic that I wasn't actually prepared to take was one around mental health. And I mean, I get it, I totally get it as somebody who's gone through so many things. And I am wholeheartedly a believer in mental health professionals, I myself have had many therapists in my life, as an individual, I've also had marriage therapy. And so I understand the value and the power there. But what I didn't think about as I was getting prepared for this was the impact on our mental health from a guilt, shame and uncertainty standpoint, and thinking about initiating a change, there are certainly a lot of emotions that go into it. So these were not a foreign concepts. You know, I think about you making a major career change, being in a place of employment, and thinking about leaving to become an entrepreneur or leaving to go and work for another company. You know, there are some some pieces that go along with that decision that you have to work through. I know when I was thinking about leaving an employer some time ago to go back out into entrepreneurship, you know, the things that I had to consider was the financial impact on my family, obviously, children who are athletes, you know, husband and wanting to know how this income change was going to affect all of these people, the family that are around me, as I'm going through these changes, all of that brought up some feelings that I hadn't considered outside of, you know, the good things, right. So going out to work for myself and become an entrepreneur means freedom. It means a lot of great things. But it also means that if I don't succeed there, my family is going to suffer, right? If I don't succeed, and I've sacrificed time away from my family, then I'm going to feel terrible about that. So there was this impact that I had to work through in order to make that change. The thing about the mental health piece is that a lot of this is outside of our control, right? Like we talk about mindset all the time in my friend groups, and it's a great ideal, but putting that into practice is a completely different topic. So Understanding that when these things happen, even when you initiate them, you're going to want to have some tools in place to be able to navigate them for your mental health's sake. There is also a need for you to check in with your resiliency. Because at the end of the day, we can't predict the future. And anytime we're making radical life changes, we know that there are going to be things that are outside of our control, there are going to be people affected, in most cases, by your decision. So having the wherewithal to know that you will get through all of these unexpected turns is important. So let's talk about what's needed. When you are navigating radical change, there are four things that I want to spend a little more time talking about today. And one of them is a plan. Now, I realize that not everyone is comfortable planning.I have a couple sisters who are like"Let's go." And that's it, they've made the decision. And they are on to executing on such decision. I tend to be a planner. So I'm going to think things through try to figure out all of the angles, I'm considering all of the key players, the stakeholders. It can take months or years where I'm running through what the effects are going be. Call it a control thing. Sure that makes sense. But I advocate making a plan, even when you know that there are going to be uncontrollables. Because I think that there should be some responsibility around the decisions you're making. Right? I also think that having a plan will help you identify some of the needs that are going to come up as you make these adjustments, right, if you are, whether again, it's a career related decision, whether it is relationship related decision, you want to identify what your needs are going to be and maybe the needs around you, as you make those decisions. Second thing that's needed is for you to really understand how to tap into your power and how to find strength.The thing about making major decisions is that there are going to be so many times when you doubt yourself, oh my gosh, do I know this story very well. And as you are doing the thing, you are sometimes thinking about backing out of it, because sometimes you're hit with so many different factors that you didn't consider it can be overwhelming. I also know that there are those who just kind of they freeze up, they just kind of get stuck as they're navigating through something new and different. So understand where your power base is. What does that mean? That means that you've got to have some things in place. So that when doubt seeks seeps in, and it typically does, when you're feeling you know, like you should rescind the offer or take a step back or just kind of go back to what's comfortable. You don't do that. So you've planned for what it's going to take and and whether that is making sure you've got your squad around you the people that are going to support you through it, whether it means that you've got to line up some things financially, whether it means that you have to build some relationships that don't exist today. Maybe there are some professionals that you're going to need to employ to be able to get you through this transition. Think about what that looks like and think about putting that in place before you navigate. The other thing that's needed is reorientation. So this happens quite a bit for example, as entrepreneurs make the transition from career to entrepreneurship. I've done it several times myself and one of the things that I've always had to rely on is my discipline. Going from someone saying you need to be here at this time, every single day to an environment where your days are yours, you can do whatever you want to do. And there is no body asking you to do anything. I mean, you are you are working this thing as you see fit. You are reorienting how you work. The same can be said when it comes to relationships whether you are walking into a relationship or You're walking away from a relationship, there is a pivot that you have to navigate, there are accommodations that you now need to think about that didn't exist before. The fourth thing is, this is kind of kind of broad, but it's getting help versus staying stuck. So I said this because when it comes to navigating, life changes, (and I've talked about maybe asking professionals) what I mean by getting help is understanding, like who you are. There is a self assessment that needs to happen, when you are making a decision to make a change. You know, as I've been talking about entrepreneurship, as an example, what I've found when I've coached entrepreneurs, and I've been doing it for decades, is that most entrepreneurs have a talent in an area. And they've gotten some kind of feedback that this is a talent that they should take on the road, so to speak, or take to the marketplace. And so they go, and they are good at a thing, they have a talent, but that does not translate 100% into owning a business. As a matter of fact, what typically happens in a small business is that the small business owner oriented towards the operational side of their business, so they make the thing, they create the thing. But there are other sides of that company that are needed, there is marketing, the thing, there is handling the finances of that enterprise. So they walk out, and they're very confident in what they can do, and don't necessarily account for all of the other areas that they cannot do. And that self assessment is necessary in terms of making sure that that that change is positive and it is successful and sustainable. And I would say, I would challenge you, if you're thinking about that kind of change to be honest with yourself. On the relationship side of the equation, that the same is true, you know, there are those of us who have been in relationships for so long, for so much of our adult lives. The idea of being a single person, not in a relationship is something that you've really got to take account for. Because it's different. So these are some things to think about as you're navigate. What I want to close with is planting the seed for what's on the other side of change. And again, we're talking about intentional changes, that you've decided to initiate because you want to build a better life, if you are in that spot. And as you're navigating that understand that the other side of this transition is one where you have your well being in mind, and that you can be successful at whatever the next area is that you decide to participate in. There is a reason we are called out of one thing and into another thing. And I just want you to be mindful of that. And these desires we have they are they're not coming out of nowhere. But honestly, in most cases, they're coming out of a place of alignment, because somehow we've gotten out of alignment. So I would just encourage you to navigate this with your eyes wide open. I've learned that visualization, manifestation, gratitude practices, journaling, there are a lot of tools and ways to move through this journey. I also have leaned most heavily into my faith. And it has been the number one source of power and strength for me. I hope that you have something in place that will help you navigate as well. So I hope you're empowered. I hope that you know that you are not alone as you navigate. Don't be scared. We're here for you. We've got your back. This is a community and you can do this. Sound good?